Former UConn star and NBA player Charlie Villanueva just wants to use his bathroom.
Unfortunately, some terrible person (or persons) burglarized Villanueva’s house and, in the process, made off with his toilet. That’s right, a toilet heist. That seems like a very odd thing to do while robbing a person’s house, but Villanueva swears it’s the truth. He took to Twitter on Tuesday to share evidence.
Upon inspecting the scene of the alleged crime, that appears to be the work of someone who knows what they’re doing. You don’t just rob a person’s house and execute a clean uninstall of their toilet unless you’ve got some prior experience with this kind of handiwork. It seems we could have some crooked plumbers on our hands.
Unfortunately for Villanueva, they didn’t stop at just the toilet.
On top of his toilet being jacked, the 33-year-old appeared to grow very aggravated that Dallas police weren’t responding to his report. Villanueva, who last played for the Mavericks in 2016, was left waiting for hours and his desperation grew with each tweet. Eventually, the hashtag “#FindMyToilet” was born.
Understandably, Villanueva had trouble wrapping his head around this perfect crime. His mind was haunted by the ghost of his porcelain throne.
As they say, you truly don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
If this isn’t some sort of weird (but hilarious) joke, I hope Villanueva gets the justice he’s out for and reunites with his john. This is America; you don’t walk into another man’s house and just take his toilet away.